*Save The Ocean!
Action Alert! You can help save the ocean!
I, like, just read this, like, totally awesome story:
Like wow! I can help save the ocean, like, by just like not using straws and plastic forks – Like I’m down with that!
I feel so good I think I’ll like grab a cheeseburger and go shopping at the Mall! Then take a cruise in my SUV down to the marina and jump in the yatch and go (over) fishing.
Gee, silly me, after I just read the Pope’s encyclical, I thought ocean ecosystems were crashing due to pollution, overfishing, climate change driven acidification and warming, and overdevelopment along the shore, old sewage treatment plants and pipes, and industrial chemical discharges.
Never mind the ecological collapse of Barnegat Bay and those jellyfish, gotta focus on what’s important!
Governor Christie must be doing such a great job protecting the ocean – I saw this like really cool picture of the Gov. and Cindy on the beach! – and Cindy just joined with the Guv to file a lawsuit to stop those bad scientists from blowing loud horns that kill dolphins! Aren’t those two like awesome!
It’s just those silly plastic forks and straws that they can’t get us to stop using! It is all our fault!
The Pope warned me that fixing all that would take a radical change in our consumptive US lifestyle and radical changes in our economic system (capitalism), politics, and human values.
I feel so much better now! Thanks COA, for clearing that all up.
Where can I send you a check for such fine work?
(or is this another in those hard hitting grass roots campaigns generously funded by the Dodge Foundation?)
* In case you haven’t, like, figured it out, this is, like, snark).